The things you take for granted

You don't realize how much you'll miss a bag of chips.

Last year I spent some time in my home town with my siblings, helping tend to my mother. This was written during the time I was visiting her.

My mother had a heart attack last week and her kids dropped everything and ran home to West Table to tend her and watch the house. I'm the youngest, and the only one currently encumbered by a child - and three year olds are a ton of work. It's a vivid contrast to my siblings who have sons in their 20's, and a reminder of how free I was when they had young ones.

My sister has been ill, and isn't able to help care for him at all, my nephew was only here a few days, and my brother is staying at a motel. I had some babysitting help a couple nights from the kid down the road, and was able to put my son in a local preschool (it helps to have friends in high places) during the days, but a great deal of the time I've been on my own at my Mother's house, just the Bundle and me.

Since Mother's angiogram came back clean, and the pacemaker is pacing appropriately, some of the intensity is off. I'm still busier than a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs, but I'm at least not at the hospital constantly, and not in danger of the nursing staff calling me in to help calm her at 2:00 a.m. I'm still on the hook for a lot of things, though, that normally I'd be sharing with my beloved Co Worker.

One of those things that I took for granted for many years is running out to a convenience store. Hey, it's five minutes, right? Jump in the car, drive a block or two, grab a candy bar or soda, a bag of chips or a bag of ice and hustle back home. Ah, not so when you are the sole caretaker of a Bundle. Say it's early in the evening and he's awake. Not a problem, right? Okay, he has to have shoes... they're never easy to find because he's carried them into his room and thrown them in the toybox. Shoes are on, great. Now you have to find your shoes, your purse, your wallet... keys... balance it all while you hold his hand or carry him as you walk out to the car. Get the doors open, get him up into his car seat, buckled in.

Now you're on your way. Get to the store, get him unbuckled, out, into the store and ride herd on him while you pick up your stuff. Pry the 30 things he wants but can't have out of his hands, comfort his sobbing, then get stuff paid for and back out to the car. Get the doors open, stuff inside, a child buckled back into a car seat. Home, unbuckled, carried in and undressed again. Now, try this when he's asleep. If you're desperate enough for soda or chips then you'll wake him up and dress him and go through that whole routine, you'll have ten times as much work on your hands. Chances are, you aren't desperate enough for that. I know I never am.

So here I sit. It's 10:00, there's no milk, I'm hungry and there's nothing exciting in the house. I'm alone, no options for people to call to come over and help out. Don't get me wrong - having a Bundle is the best thing that's ever happened to me. I'm not angry about it, or resentful - just mindful that my life has changed drastically.


Originally posted at TIBU on 9/13/2007, presented here with edits and additions.